This is a view of our new cat.  She’s about 5 weeks old and she’s a girl.  She doesn’t have a name yet because we can’t decide what to name her.  But just look at that face and tell me you don’t want to squeeze her.  I mean, come on.

My history with pets can be divided into two eras: B.M. (before marriage) and A.M. (after marriage).  In the B.M. years, I had a couple rabbits.  During A.M., to date, I’ve had fish, guinea pigs, hamsters, chickens, hairless rats, hermit crabs, cats and dogs.  I’m probably missing some animals.

We had two rabbits during the B.M. years, starting when I was about 10.  The first rabbit was killed by a band of roving dogs that ripped the bunny out of our homemade cage and tore it to bits.  It was winter and the blood trail on the snow went across our entire backyard.  The second rabbit, which we got shortly after the first was murdered, lived a life of solitude in the corner of our yard for years.  We would feed it and I would take the hose and spray the rabbit shit out of the cage every month or so, but there’s not much you can do with a rabbit that says outside.

The A.M. era has more than made up for my absence of pets in the B.M. era.  We’ve hardly been without some sort of animal in the house.  And every time we say we’re not adding anymore, we end up bringing another animal into the family.

Our oldest daughter was attracted to animals at a very early age.  She just flocked to any animal she could get her hands on.  And she always had the best names for them, especially at an early age.  My in-laws got a couple fish for her and she named them “Don” and “Ice Cream”.  Not bad.  Then she got a rabbit and named it “A Little Boy Named Scotty”.  I’m calling it now, there has never been another living creature on this planet with the name “A Little Boy Named Scotty”.  Prove me wrong, I dare you.

Our other daughter and our son have been as equally fond of animals as their older sister.  Not a week goes by without the question arising about adding to the family.  Me?  I just bite my lower lip and save my arguments for something more important.  It’s not that I don’t like pets, it’s the responsibility factor that I worry about.  It’s a blast to have pets, but it’s a fucking bore to care for them.

We’ve had our time with all sorts of pets over the years.  Some have worked out well, some haven’t, but they’ve all added something to our family.  We currently have a 4-year-old female chocolate lab named “Mona”.  A big sweetheart of a dog, but she thinks she’s much smaller than she is.  I’d love to be able to fit her in one of those shoebox dog carriers and bring her with me on my travels, but it ain’t going to happen.  She thinks she’s that dog, though.  She crawls right up on my lap as if I won’t notice her 80 lbs, resting right on my crotch.

Now we’ve added a cat to the mix.  A week in and we still haven’t picked a name.  We’ve bounced a few around.  Personally, I like “Shere Khan”, named after the tiger from The Jungle Book, but I have a feeling I’m going to be shut out.  I don’t really care if that’s not a female name, I like it.  My son wants to name her Lisa.  Then we’d have a dog named “Mona” and a cat named “Lisa”.  Smart kid for only being 8.  I like any regular guys names for pets, like “Steve” or “Louie”.  They make me laugh.  My kids also thought that was funny and seem to now like the name “Chris”.  Serves me right.  I guess I bring this on myself.

P.S.: As I finish writing this, C.C. Sabathia of the NY Yankees is 9 outs away from a perfect game.  If the rain can just hold off, we may have something special tonight.