This is a view of a car I saw in the parking lot of a convenience store in Kirkwood, NY the other day.  I had stopped to get my usual mid-afternoon cup of coffee and saw this contraption as I pulled out of the parking lot.  I had to pull back in and take a picture.

I am not a car guy.  I have absolutely nothing against people that are gear heads.  In fact, I’m quite envious, but I just never had that gene in me.  For me, cars have always been more utilitarian than anything else.  I’ve always seen cars mainly as a means to get from Point A to Point B.  If the car is somewhat comfortable, doesn’t smell, has a working heater and AC, and some sort of music system I can use, I’m perfectly content.  I get a little charge, just like everyone else, when I ride in a nice car that’s souped-up with all sorts of bells and whistles, but it’s not a priority for me.

Similarly, I was never one to work on cars.  I can do the basics: change the oil, rotate the tires, and replace an air filter; but I’m not about overhaul the tranny and put some cherry bombs on my wife’s Chevy Trailblazer.  The sad part is that she probably could do those things.  I would just watch with equal parts of amazement and resentment.  She’s really smart.

This car pictured is a whole different beast.  I have no idea what the hell this thing is, but apparently it’s legal judging by the registration sticker on the windshield.  It was just sitting on this trailer by itself with no one around except me and the guy in the truck at the left edge of the picture.  I asked him if it was his car.  He said, and I quote, “I fucking wish it was.  I think it’s a 1927 Ford body.”  OK.  He could have told me that it was made with a combination of pressurized corn husks, aardvark pubic hair, and belly-button lint and ran on urine and I would have believed him.

I peeked inside the driver’s side window for a quick second.  I didn’t really get a good look at the dashboard to see if it had a Bang & Olufsen audio system, but I did notice that it only had one seat and it was on the passenger’s side, which was a touch abnormal.  The seat was not exactly an Eames chair either.  It was two pieces of plywood connected at a 90-degree angle and covered with what looked like a burlap sack.  Makes sense to me.  Plywood is so unforgiving and hard to sit on, but when you cover it with a fine sheet of burlap, it’s the car-seat equivalent of sleeping on a pillow-top mattress with a goose-down comforter.  Just heavenly.

I saw Cars 2 a couple days ago (don’t waste your money).  For those of you familiar with the first movie, the car pictured reminds me of a cross between Mater’s rusty body, Doc Hudson’s wheels (voiced by my all-time favorite actor, Paul Newman, may be rest in peace) and Ramone’s street flair.  I know this may not make sense to some of you who are unfamiliar with the movie, but your kids will know what I’m talking about.

I would really love to know the story about this car.  I hope it’s fascinating.