I can dream up schemes when I’m sitting in my seat
I don’t see any flaws till I get to my feet
I wish I never woke up this morning
Life was easy when it was boring

I want to get a weighted blanket in the worst way.  They look so comfortable.  I see them advertised for people with anxiety problems.  I don’t really have an issue with anxiety, but I see ads for weighted blankets and my whole body craves one.  I imagine it’s something that, once you start using one, you can never live without it.  That’s the part that scares me.  I’m afraid I’ll like it so much, I’ll be like a little 45-year-old kid who can’t be separated from his…blanket.

How do you go back to a regular blanket after using a weighted blanket?  How do you go back to a regular phone after using a smart phone?  How do you go back to the World Book Encyclopedia, from where I plagiarized all my grade school and junior high school papers, when you have the interwebs?  It’s hard, man.  Like really hard.  Progress and shit, it’s a bitch.

I’ve tried to make a conscious effort, over the past month, to go back to using simpler things in life.  I’ve started using a regular notepad and pen at work to take all of my notes.  I’ve gotten back to reading physical books and magazines again.  I bought a few board games to play with the family when everyone’s around.  But there’s still areas I’d either like to simplify or go back to pre-whateverthehellitwas days.  iPhone, social media, streaming entertainment, internet use to name a few.  This shit can consume too much of my life.  I’m decent with all of it, but my goal is to be more present, in the moment, and not worry about the noise.  It’s OK for an event to happen organically without recording it, tweeting it, sending a post, taking a photo, whatever.  I’ll survive.  I know why I do these things — I love having something to remember these moments by.  For years, I just had the experience and memory, but nothing tangible to refer back to.  Now I have a device that allows me to document every moment and it’s hard to go back, but I feel the pull to do just that — go back.  Enjoy the moment for exactly what it is and immerse myself in it without any other influences.

I acknowledge the hypocrisy in what I’m saying as I write this on a personal blog available online for all the world to see, but whatever.  I’m expressing, creating, and exercising my mind as opposed to just consuming stuff.  This exercise helps me; that stuff doesn’t…although it does provide fodder for this very exercise, so…I don’t know.  Now my fucking head hurts.  I just know I need to throttle back a bit and re-engage with what’s around me.  I guess Sting said it best on Ghost in the Machine, “Life was easy when it was boring.”