Seed Views

Seed View for August 16th, 2011

This is a view of a horse from 2 days ago.  Riveting, I know.  What’s represented in this picture is not my love of horses (although I have no beef with them), but a reminder for me of the small, yet monumental moments that happen in one’s life that seem so inconsequential to others, but have enormous personal meaning to just one person for years to come.  The barn in which this horse resides represents one of those moments for me.

Moving, as it is for many people, was a turning point in my life.  I had spent the first 15 years of my existence in suburbia in Long Island.  My parents decided to move to Sidney, NY which is many miles from Long Island, both literally and figuratively.  I rebelled as any sensible 15-year-old would.  I wanted to move back and reunite with my friends.  They were everything to me.  At first, I found the slow-paced life in a small town to be an incredible bore.  That started to change after I went to my first Halloween party at my friend’s farm.

I had never been on a real farm before.  As a kid, trips to see my mother’s family in Williamsport, PA were always a blast for me because we drove by things like: no traffic, open land, cows, corn, horses, and huge farms that, to me, seemed like something out of a movie.  So this is how people live.  How fascinating, I thought.  I wasn’t a city kid, but we just didn’t have this shit where I lived.  So going to my first farm was kind of a big deal.

I remember getting to the farm and looking forward to getting a tour of the joint.  I wanted to see what this was all about.  I think a few of my friends were getting a kick out of me being on a farm for the first time and found it funny.  That was cool by me, just show me the cool shit.  A group of us eventually walked into the horse barn and stood by one of the stalls of a male horse.  We were passively watching the horse and just talking when the moment occurred.  The horse, acting like any animal that lacks vanity or couth, dropped its “kickstand” and unleashed a torrent of urine the likes of which I’d never seen before.  It was like a 2-foot-long fire hose dropped out of his mid-section and 150 psi of liquid came jettisoning out.

If I were a cartoon character at that point, I would have looked like Roger Rabbit.  I couldn’t fucking believe what I was watching.  It was mind-blowing on so many levels, the least of which was how insignificant I felt as a virile young male after seeing the piece on that horse.  Damn.  Apparently, I turned beet red and was just incredulous.  This was just the moment my friends were hoping for, I’m sure.  I’m still reminded of it from time to time.  But what that moment meant to me was that this place going to be OK.  Sure, it was different than what I was used to.  I missed a lot of things about Long Island, most of all my friends, but people are people and it doesn’t matter where you are, you can still connect on an emotional level and be satisfied.  To think, I started to realize this all because of a horse’s cock.

This picture was taken 2 days ago on August 14th in the very same barn that I saw that horse’s unit.  My sister is now married to the brother of my friend who had the party at her farm years ago.  We were there for a family party.  My sister got married on August 14th.  I got married on August 14th.  My parents got married on August 14th.  My birthday is August 14th.  And I moved from Long Island to Sidney, NY on August 14th, 1987.  Other than that, we don’t do a damn thing on August 14th.

2 replies »

  1. And the gloves come off. Now I know all is fair game. Next can we hear the one about the touchdown that never happened. As an avaid reader I was wondering when you were going to get to horse cock in the seed. Thanks Cap.

    • It’s my awkward twisted way of saying how much I grew to appreciate my friends from Sidney and the way of life in a small town. You’re kind of right, by the way. I couldn’t wait to talk about horse cock.

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